Mitt Romney Supports French Marriage To Space Monsters

During a weird visit to Pat Robertson’s pretend university, Mormon-Scientologist Mitt Romney claimed that Evil France was basically run by space monsters who hate our traditional values and have no-fault seven-year marriages like in California. But Mitt can be forgiven because what normal American really knows anything about France? (Other than “Jacques” Kerry, we mean.)

Of course, Mitt isn’t a “normal American.” He is a giant nerd who also lived in Paris for two years. That’s right, Mitt didn’t just visit Paris like the usual rich elitist. He lived there. He speaks fluent French, for Xenu’s sake! We reported this a few months ago, but had no idea just how far Mitt would take this bizarre pretend loathing for his former home.

So Mitt’s pornographic fantasies of seven-year marriages with French women are an amalgamation of:
a) Mr. Spock’s sex rites.
b) A science-fiction novel about the Book of Mormon.
c) Some soft-porn French romantic comedy.

I’ve finally found a reason to endorse Romney [GOP Progress]
Earlier: Mitt Romney Doesn’t Care For Mr. Spock’s Love Life