Daily Briefing: Sore

* Alberto Gonzales spends five hours holding his ankles in a senate hearing, and all President Bush has to say is that he’s “pleased.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* The Machiavellian machinations of Paul Wolfowitz: dude tried to bump off his girlfriend in 2003 by getting her sent to Iraq. [NYT]
* Pro-life virgins masturbating furiously at the hope of new abortion restrictions. [NYT]
* DC Voting rights bill passes House, won’t pass shit else – sorry Utah. [WP, NYT]
* Harry Reid announces his hatred for the troops, America, apple pie, baseball, and moms. [NYT]
* Again with the God damn wall-building. [LAT]
* Americans are overcoming their “skeptical attitudes toward scientists,” almost a third now believe global warming exists. [WP]