The Wall Street Journal reports today on new airport security technology in development and test use across the pants-soilingly terrified Western World. Based on Wonder Woman’s lasso, it’s a booth terrorists sit in and answer questions like “are you going to blow up this plane?” Cunningly, the touchscreen only presents the options “Yes” and “Hell Yeah.”
Actually, the system works through what sounds like a combination of polygraphs and, say, phrenology (but sweetened with biometric knowledge gained from “interrogations!”). When it works.
The company’s goal is to prove it can catch at least 90% of potential saboteurs — a 10% false-negative rate — while inconveniencing just 4% of innocent travelers.
This, combined with the TSA’s training of its employees in visual recognition of signs of nervousness and guilt, means one thing: we are never smoking up before we go to the airport again.