The U.S. Capitol Police has a very important mission: “preventing, detecting, and investigating criminal acts,” in and around the U.S. Capitol Building — except when those acts involve congressmen and lobbyists. The Capitol Police is the inspiration for our latest Wonkette feature, “Capitol Fashion Police,” in which we will go out — okay, not really, you’ll just email us photos — and heap scorn upon violators of the laws of fashion.
It’s true that when it comes to style, no one would confuse Washington with Milan, Paris, or New York. We live in the nation’s political capital, not its fashion capital. New York boasts the finest fashion writers the glossy mag world has to offer, and we have… Robin Givhan. Our Gotham-based, style-conscious sister offers up the undeniably fabulous Looking at the Look Book, and we give you the admittedly lame “Capitol Fashion Police.”
Be that as it may, clearly some fashion standards, however low, must be enforced in this city. And who better to set them than a bunch of pajama-clad bloggers?
Today’s victim, er, subject, is Dana Milbank of the Washington Post, who showed up on MSNBC to discuss the Dick Cheney hunting incident looking like this:
Michelle Malkin and Tom Elia argue that Milbank’s stunt raises questions about the objectivity of his journalism. Journalistic ethics? Pish posh! We’re more concerned about his fashion transgressions.
After the jump, we execute a “fashion police arrest” upon Dana Milbank, with the able assistance of Ana Marie Cox, Wonkette Emerita.
Here are excerpts from an IM conversation we had with the Wonkette Emerita about Milbank’s outfit (as always, IM names are pseudonyms):
Original Wonkette:there’s got to be something to say about this. less the controversy than just how fucking ridiculous dana looks
New Wonkettes: Hilarious!!! Can’t believe he actually showed up on TV like that. He looks like a school crossing guard.
New Wonkettes: On Halloween.
New Wonkettes: And the fake backdrops are nice too. He’s just there to protect members of Congress as they cross the street!
Original Wonkette: he looks like someone who is about to have their lunch money taken away
Original Wonkette: total short bus
Original Wonkette: “captain ed” says this: “Heck, most bloggers I know wouldn’t be dumb enough to dress like this on national TV even as a joke, not if they wanted to maintain any credibility.”
Original Wonkette: IF EVEN A BLOGGER WOULDN”T DO IT…
New Wonkettes: Yes — we bloggers have much higher fashion standards.
Original Wonkette: we don’t wear anything
New Wonkettes: Well, even the much vaunted blogger pajamas would be better than this look…
Original Wonkette: it’s truly stunning, that’s for sure.
And now it’s time to make the arrest:
“Dana Milbank, you are under arrest by the Capitol Fashion Police. You have the right to take off all your clothes and stand before us naked — although we’re not sure we’d like that either. Anything you wear, however, can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
“You have the right to consult a celebrity stylist — we recommend Freddie Leiba, since he was so great on Project Runway last week — or any cast member of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. If you cannot afford a celebrity stylist, well, that’s just too fucking bad… for all of us.”
Dana Milbank: Clown [Michelle Malkin]
Good, Clean, Objective Journalism [The New Editor]
Cheney Shoots Attorney, Reporter Gets Brain Damage [Captain's Quarters]