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REVENGE OF DIAPERMAN

David Vitter Now Pooping In Ladies’ Underwear

That'll be $500, Senator Vitter.Louisiana sex creep David “Diaperman” Vitter is known for one thing, and one thing only: Hiring hookers and then making those hookers put adult diapers on him, so he can poop in the diapers, for sex kicks. He has been caught employing prostitutes at least twice, in New Orleans and in Washington DC — his number found in the client phone records of the since-suicided “DC Madam,” in the latter case. He is a gross scumbag and a human joke, and guess where serious Congressional Journalistic Institution Roll Call found him fondling ladies’ lingerie and looking “a bit lost,” because he was about to spurt/poop? MORE »


RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Barack Obama Enjoys Golfing, Watching Our Troops Die

  • RedState hacked Harry Reid’s “vBay” account! But will Harry press charges? [RedState]
  • Barack Obama admits he is in an intense relationship with India but declines to say who is the “man” because he doesn’t believe in gender roles. [TPM]
  • Sarah Palin’s book is full of terrible fibs about simple, honest Americans. And they’ve had enough. [Andrew Sullivan]
  • Lazy black man Barack Obama has already played more rounds of golf than every hard-working white president and Jack Nicklaus combined. Also: Barack hates the troops. [Gateway Pundit]
  • A homeless ponzi scheme rocks New York. [Daily Intel]

TURKEY TIME IN WASHINGTON

Thanksgiving Wonkabout Style: Turducken For All

Yeah fuck you, 'the awl.'Some 400 years ago the Pilgrims and Indians dined together to celebrate a bountiful harvest, and then the nice Pilgrims gave the Indians smallpox blankets and killed just about all of them. To commemorate this glorious occurrence in our nation’s history, we get the Thanksgiving holiday, and if you’re sticking around and braving a visit from your family, don’t worry, there will be plenty of things to do in the District. MORE »



SFW!

New Orleans Mayoral Hopeful Learned All The Swear Words Like Six Days Ago


This James Perry person is running for mayor of New Orleans, the most desirable position in the country. Here is his commercial, #1 effective political video on teevee. You’ll notice every other word has been artfully bleeped out, because of cursing! James Perry is also an Eagle Scout. [The Awl]


LEAGUE OF ORDINARY GENTLEMEN

Washington Post Pundit Contest Winner Has All Kinds Of New Perspectives On Things!


Hey meet the winner of the Washington Post’s pundit match: “Kevin”! He appears to be nothing more than a composite of all preexisting Washington Post op-ed writers, yet somehow even whiter. Synergy! [Washington Post]


EVERYONE'S AN IDIOT

Entire Country Confused by Competing Palin Books

Gong RouxHow do you baffle a not-too-smart nation of people who aren’t really much into book-learnin’? Have competing publishers release similarly-titled books about popular idiot Sarah Palin! Not even counting the “I’m buying this only for ironic reasons” crowd in Brooklyn and Silver Lake, there is apparently total chaos in bookstores, as people who’ve only previously visited bible shops in the strip mall out by the edge of town are now pouring into the Borders and B&N or even trying their hand at “the Amazon,” with pitiable results. MORE »


NU WERLD ODOR

Illiterate Republican Truther-Birther-Nut Posts Satirical (?) Event On Obama’s Old MySpace

'Heard of some gravesites, out by the highway, a place where nobody knows ....'
Oh man this truther-birther nut pulled a fast one and you need to know about it! During the 2007-2008 presidential campaign, Barack Obama’s web robots made this sort of community-Faceybook deal called “My Barack Obama,” so the liberals could hold sex parties in their gentrified-neighborhood townhouses and it would be “for Obama.” Well: That website is apparently still online, so look what this sneaky fellow went and did to it, on his personal “My Barack Obama” web page. Pwned? MORE »


EASILY MADE INTO DRINKING GAME

Wonkette Games: Let’s All Play The GOP’s New Friendship Quiz Together!

The RNC is considering making all Republican politicians take a ten-question Ronald Reagan-themed purity test! According to Daily Intel, “If someone disagrees with three or more of the policies, the resolution’s supporters want to withhold party money and endorsement. The 80 percent threshold comes from a famous Reagan quote: ‘The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor.’” Valid, but: Couldn’t Michael Steele have also, in theory, said those words in that order? So it’s unfair to call it a “Reagan” quote when, technically speaking, it’s potentially a Michael Steele quote. See, here’s your credit baby! Anyway, let’s play Michael Steele’s new politics quiz game, right now! MORE »


DECEPTIVELY CATCHY: WATCH OUT!

Presenting, In Song, Today’s Stop On The ‘Going Rogue’ Tour

Today Sarah Palin is visiting the Villages, which, according to the Internet’s famous Talking Points Memo, “is a heavily Republican community that is a must-stop for campaigning politicians in a key battleground state. The Villages is in central Florida about 60 miles northwest of Orlando.” So Presidential speculation, etc. etc.! Your Wonkette had never even heard of the Villages or the crucial Republican Villages People, which is why Editor Jim Newell suggested we watch this commercial. So, this is what Sarah Palin is doing today! Levi Johnston wins this round by default. [YouTube, TPM]


A MAN GOTTA HAVE A CODE

Michael Steele Will Just Fire Everyone Until He Feels He Has Gotten ‘Enough Credit’

Whenever absolutely anything goes wrong, immediately fire the nearest communications director. This is a law, in our politics. It would follow, then, that Michael Steele would have already gone through all the communications directors on Earth, multiple times. Well! This recent RNC communications director, Trevor Francis, had only been at his job since March but lasted til yesterday, when Steele fired him to death because Steele was sad he, Michael Steele, did not receive “enough credit for the GOP’s electoral success earlier this month.” MORE »


DAILY BRIEFING

Conservatives Team Up With ACLU To Take On ‘Big Supreme Court’

  • Not content with hating, on principle, the executive and legislative branches of government, conservatives now find America’s court system not to their taste either really. [New York Times]
  • Some environmental people do not despise nuclear energy anymore mostly because the technology has gotten a lot safer and partly because at this point what choice do they have? [Washington Post]
  • Nidal Hasan is awake, paralyzed from the chest down, and still in the hospital, which everyone is trying to make seem as much like a jail as possible. [WSJ]
  • Tonight fancy Obama is holding his first state dinner ever in honor of Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh’s visit! [CNN]
  • Next couple days will see Obama’s decision about how many troops to send to Afghanistan. [Reuters]
  • Strike-thru yesterday’s story about 31 Filipino hostages dying; hillside mass grave discovery means that 46 is now the correct number. [AP]